she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
