Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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