I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she told me i tasted like america
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
