No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Terrible idea I love it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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