It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't think brook has ever known best
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
