So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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