And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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