Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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