I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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