you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
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I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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