So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
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I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
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You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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