ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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