oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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