420 ftw
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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