We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Vodka?
Forever.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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