we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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