Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
