We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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