Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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