I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
