oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
