Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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