I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You smell like stripper and shame
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
