OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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