you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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