Best friends brother. Beat that.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i now understand why vodka
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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