forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
