Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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