Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Randomize
