if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
