I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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