you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
