maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
