Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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