Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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