You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
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how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
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I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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