Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
