We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
