thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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