Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
