apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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