We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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