I feel like abortions should bother me more
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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