Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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