Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just found a bag of teeth...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize