you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
