At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
