I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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