how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize