Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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