hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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