i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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