they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
