so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
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I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
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Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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