i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
