so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
