I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
