Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize